Indispensable is not a leadership strategy

But many high-performing leaders build their identity around it.

You’re reliable.

You can handle pressure.

You step in when things get messy.

You’re the one who just gets on with it.

On paper, it looks like strength.

Underneath, it often feels like something else.

A tightness in your chest before meetings.

Snapping at home over something small.

A sense that you’re carrying more than your role requires, but not knowing how to put it down.

You wouldn’t call it burnout.

You’re still delivering.

But something feels off.

For a long time, I handled pressure by absorbing it.

I was the fixer.

If something was unclear, I clarified it.

If something was failing, I stepped in.

If someone was struggling, I compensated.

It felt responsible. It felt mature. It felt like the only option.

What I didn’t realise was that I was confusing indispensability with impact.

And here’s the part it took me a long time to figure out:

There is no single definition of perfect at senior level.

Everyone will have an opinion.

Everyone will have a preference.

Everyone will project their version of what strong leadership looks like.

So whose perfect are you trying to be?

When you try to be everything to everyone, you start editing yourself.

You soften here.

You overextend there.

You carry tension that isn’t yours so others don’t have to feel it.

That is what happens when identity gets tangled with performance.

Leadership without self-erasure looks different.

It looks like:

• Letting discomfort sit in the room instead of rushing to resolve it.

• Being clear about what is yours to carry and what isn’t.

• Accepting that not everyone will approve of your pace, your boundaries, or your style.

Indispensable is not a leadership strategy.

Sustainable leadership is.

If something in this resonates, don’t overhaul your life. Just notice one thing this week:

Where are you carrying something that isn’t actually yours?

Start there.

I spoke more openly about the moment I realised being the fixer was costing me more than I admitted on a recent podcast.

If you’d like the deeper conversation, you can listen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=309u4H5-4xo

You can lead well without disappearing in the process.