Why Rest Feels So Hard for High Performers (and Why It’s Non-Negotiable)

High performers are known for stamina, resilience, and the ability to push through.

It’s when you ask us to rest that things go a bit pear-shaped.

I used to think of rest as weakness.

Actually, scrap that. I never used to think of rest much at all.

When I did think of it in relation to work, the word 'lazy' would come to mind.

It was for other people.

I’d rather run on four hours of sleep and a packed diary than admit I needed a break.

The cost of that mindset bit me in the behind, both for my health and my career.

Why Rest Feels So Hard

1.     Identity is tied to productivity

Many high achievers confuse “doing” with “being.” We feel valuable only when we’re producing, fixing, or delivering.

2.     Fear of being replaceable

If I stop, will someone else step in and do it better?

Rest can feel like handing over our edge.

3.     Cultural conditioning

Corporate cultures reward long hours and “always on.” Choosing rest feels like stepping outside the tribe.

4. Misunderstanding of what rest actually is

For many of us, “rest” has looked like catching up on errands, chores, or numbing out with Netflix—none of which truly restore the nervous system.

My Wake-Up Call

More than 10 years ago, I was travelling constantly for work, home in Cape Town only on weekends. Those two days became a mad dash of friends, family, and activities. I “made the most of it,” even if it meant running on empty.

A year after moving back to Cape Town permanently, my body forced me to stop. I was hospitalised with glandular fever because, quite frankly, my immune system was shot. I couldn’t walk very far without my heart rate spiking. Standing in the shower made me out of breathe.

Words like chronic fatigue started coming up.

I had a trip of a lifetime to South America planned two months after the hospital experience. The plan was to hike the Inca trail. Instead, I found myself sedately taking the train to Machu Picchu (while responding to everyone who sent me pictures of Trevor Noah at Machu Picchu and saying that, no, I hadn't seen him).

Yes, it took months to recover.

Even then, I knew I needed to rest, but putting it into action was harder. I tried, but whenever work got too busy (read: whenever I didn’t hold my boundaries), resentment built up.

Honestly, it wasn’t until I left corporate that I truly experienced rest as strategy. Until then, rest was just a pipe dream.

Reframing Rest as Strategy

What changed?

Self-awareness.

I started noticing that my best ideas didn’t come when I was pushing.

They came when I was rested.

I read somewhere that we should all give ourselves time and space to be bored. When I finally allowed myself that space, I had my biggest revelations.

Now I make rest non-negotiable.

Not because it’s nice, but because it gives me clarity on my next steps.

Constant action just creates noise.

Rest creates clarity.

What Rest Looks Like Now

Rest isn’t just sleep. For me, it looks like:

• Protecting my diary (no back-to-back meetings).

• Scheduling time for self-care: meditating, exercising, simply slowing down.

• Not feeling guilty about spending a day lost in a book.

• Building daily rituals and routines that keep me grounded.

What I See in My Clients

Many of my clients hold the same beliefs I once did: rest is lazy, rest is optional, rest will come after the project ends. They rationalise exhaustion as “part of the job.”

But once they allow themselves rest, they notice the same thing I did:

Clarity, creativity, and resilience all return.

Conclusion

High performance without rest isn’t sustainable.

It’s self-sabotage dressed up as discipline.

Rest is not a luxury. It’s the foundation that allows us to show up with clarity, resilience, and impact.

The question isn’t “Can I afford to rest?”

The real question is: “Can I afford not to?”