The Trouble with “Work-Life Balance”
We’re told to aim for “work-life balance.”
As if life is a set of scales we can somehow keep perfectly even.
But balance isn’t static.
It’s not a final destination.
It’s a moving target, and chasing it often leaves high performers frustrated and guilty.
For most of my career, I bought into the myth.
My version of balance was Work hard, play hard.
If I pushed during the week, I had to “make up for it” with equal intensity on the weekends.
That wasn’t balance. That was burnout in disguise.
Why Balance Sets Us Up to Fail
It assumes equal weight - Real life doesn’t fit into neat 50/50 splits.
It breeds guilt - If you’re succeeding at work, you feel you’re failing at home (and vice versa).
It ignores seasons - Some months demand more from work; others demand more from life. Pretending otherwise just adds pressure.
My “Work Hard, Play Hard” Story
For years, my life looked like this:
Joburg workweeks.
Thursday nights out socialising in Joburg.
Friday flybacks to Cape Town.
Socialising all weekend in Cape Town.
Monday morning flights back to Joburg with everyone else on the crazy red-eye.
That was my definition of balance: never missing out.
If I worked hard, I had to play hard to keep up.
But in reality, I was sacrificing peace, sleep, and rest.
The Small Shifts That Changed Everything
The changes came slowly:
Moving my Monday morning flight to Sunday evenings. (It cut into social time but made Mondays manageable.)
Then flying home every second weekend instead of every weekend.
Then protecting Friday evenings by switching to Thursday night flights or earlier Friday flights.
Eventually, cutting the travel completely and moving back to Cape Town.
Each step gave me a little more energy back.
Discovering Integration
Since leaving corporate, I’ve realised I don’t actually work best in a neat, balanced routine. I work best in sprints.
I go all-in on something new until it becomes a habit.
Then I pause, recover my energy, and only then do I go all-in again.
It’s seasonal.
Sometimes I’m all in on work.
Sometimes I’m all in on rest.
It’s not about balance. It’s about integration.
And about knowing how your energy works.
Integration makes space for energy ups and downs, instead of forcing life into a rigid equation.
(It also makes space for my obsessive need to complete full series of fantasy novels during my downtimes).
What My Clients Struggle With
Many of my clients beat themselves up for not being “balanced.”
They try to be all things to all people, stretching themselves to the point of burnout.
When we shift the conversation to integration, we introduce practices that manage energy levels and weave self-focused activities into their routines.
They feel lighter.
More human.
Less guilty.
Final Thought
Balance is a myth. Integration is a mindset.
Instead of chasing a perfect split, I ask myself:
What matters most right now, and how do I create space for it?
That’s not balance. That’s sustainable leadership.
