When Comfort Costs More Than Change: The High-Performer Trap
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Human beings generally don't like change (neither do canines, but I'll come back to that).
We tell ourselves we want things to be different.
A calmer schedule.
A team that doesn’t pull on our energy.
A role that doesn’t drain the joy out of everyday life.
But most of us stay exactly where we are because it feels familiar. The comfort of discomfort is still comfort, and it is one of the key reasons high-performing women miss the early signs of burnout.
The brain treats familiarity as safety, even when it is slowly wearing us out. This is often the moment when we begin to feel stuck, yet we do not act. These are the first signs you are stuck in the comfort of discomfort, and they explain why change feels hard even when you know something needs to shift.
Over the past while, I have been writing about burnout signals, perfectionism, and those tiny realisations that push high achievers to start navigating personal change and rethink success.
These themes all point to one pattern:
We underestimate how tightly we cling to what we know.
We rationalise the stress because “this is just how it is.”
We convince ourselves we should be able to handle it.
We wait for the perfect moment to change.
That moment never arrives.
Why Familiar Discomfort Feels Safer Than Real Change
My own pivot taught me this in a very physical way.
I stayed in discomfort far longer than I admitted to myself.
My insomnia felt manageable.
My irritability felt justified.
My palpitations felt inconvenient instead of alarming.
I only realised later I'd normalised a lifestyle that was not normal at all.
That is what high-performing women often do.
We adapt.
We cope.
We excel under pressure.
We override our instincts in the process.
What a 17-Year-Old Dog Taught Me About Resistance to Change
Now to the canines (and the picture).
He is (almost) 17 years old and starting to struggle with walks and with jumping onto the couches. We are also navigating the joys of doggie nappies, but that is a story for another day.
We are having to adapt.
There are ramps all over the house now.
Stairs did not work.
Different angles did not work.
Different non-slip materials did not work.
I thought it would be simple.
It has not been simple.
And that is before we even get to his preferences.
After all the research and trial runs, he is still the biggest barrier.
He would rather jump and fall ten times than use the one perfectly good ramp we both know works.
We have tried treats.
We have tried blocking every other route.
Still he resists.
On walks, when his little legs get tired, I now carry him in a bag.
He loves the view and the closeness, but even this took some coaxing because it was unfamiliar.
The moment it became comfortable, he leaned into it.
Humans are not very different.
Even when the change is better for us, we cling to what we know.
The First Step Is Simply Recognising You Are Stuck
We all get stuck sometimes.
And we forget that change does not have to be dramatic at the start.
Often the first signal you are ready for a shift is the awareness that you are stuck in the comfort of discomfort.
The first step is identifying that you are stuck.
If you have been following my posts on burnout, success, perfectionism, or the small signals your body sends before your mind catches up, your next step might be to understand where you are on that spectrum.
That is exactly what the Glimmer Snapshot™ is designed to help you do.
It gives language to truths you already know but struggle to articulate.
It reveals where your energy is leaking, where you are forcing, and where you are ready for something different.
