Resilience Reimagined: Sustainable Success Without the Constant Push

For years, my career was defined by “pushing through.”

I was running a project in Europe, living in the house I’d just bought in Johannesburg, and flying home to Cape Town whenever possible. On paper, I was winning: projects delivered, KPIs met and exceeded, client wins celebrated.

But behind the scenes, I was permanently exhausted.

When I was in South Africa, I was still living on European project time - on calls at all hours, managing a client who wasn’t happy I wasn’t permanently onsite, and dealing with the same client’s bullying behaviour. I spent my days figuring out who I needed to speak to in order to get things done, coaching a remote team, and running longer and longer meetings to “make sure we got it right.”

Yes, the work was getting done. I was getting the credit. But I was never present with the people I loved, never truly at home when I was home, and constantly feeling like nothing I did was ever enough.

The breaking point

I knew I’d hit my limit when I couldn’t emotionally handle the bullying anymore. Packing for flights became harder. I started dreading going to work. I hated interactions that once felt energising.

The hardest part wasn’t the burnout itself, it was dismantling the belief that walking away was weak. For so long, my value was tied to being the one who could “handle anything.” The fixer. The closer. The person who stayed until the end, no matter the cost.

But here’s the truth: nothing is worth your peace.

Walking away from that project felt like failure at the time. In hindsight, it was the single best decision I could have made for my health, my relationships, and my future career.

Redefining ambition

Today, sustainable ambition looks completely different. I still aim high, but my goals matter to me - and they still will in a week, a month, a year.

I choose the environment I work in: aligned with my values, surrounded by people I trust and want to collaborate with.

I choose the way I work: managing my own energy instead of letting someone else dictate my pace.

I have daily practices that keep me grounded:

• Breathing exercises and stretching to keep my nervous system in check.

• Meditation to quiet the noise.

• Dance classes and walks in nature to keep my body and mind connected.

When I feel anxiety rising, I don’t ignore it. I pause, identify the cause, and address it before it spirals.

The message I wish I’d heard sooner

If you’re a high-performing woman who’s been applauded for your resilience - for your grit, your ability to “push through” - I want you to know: resilience doesn’t mean running yourself into the ground.

True resilience is about the marathon, not the sprint. It’s about building a career and a life that energises you along the way.

If you’re feeling anxious or out of place...

Identify what’s costing you your peace - and start taking steps to change it.

Because no title, no project, and no KPI is worth burning yourself out for.