The best way to deal with fear is to face it head on.
I'm kind of afraid of posting this, but that's minor if it helps someone else who may be struggling.
For me, March is always particularly challenging. It starts in February and can last until April. I'm edgy, anxious and sometimes a bit light-headed when the anxiety ramps up.
Last year, I had full vertigo in April and couldn't lift my head or open my eyes for a few days.
Doc gave me nausea meds and advice on what to do with the vertigo, but in the next breathe, also prescribed really strong anti-anxiety meds. I generally refuse medication and choose to find other coping mechanisms, but this time was beyond anything I could do. My normal annual anxiety coupled with my brother showing up bleeding and shouting at my house one night (smash and grab, he ended up being fine), just put me over the edge last year.
Even though I'm not completely conscious of it, my body remembers the experience of losing someone I loved in March - finding them on the floor, the panic to do CPR and to get an ambulance.
I don't speak about it often, but that panic is never that far away and chooses to raise its head at inconvenient times.
I had to find ways to deal with it.
With the vertigo, even after the major anxiety symptoms went away (aka when I could open my eyes again), the fear of it happening again lived on. I was afraid to drive because I thought it could happen while I was behind the wheel (the first time it happened, I wasn't home and ended up lying on a bench on the promenade - thankfully I wasn't alone). Meds helped, but made me light-headed, which then spun into a vicious cycle. Basically, the meds which helped the anxiety vertigo were causing general light-headedness, which was increasing the fear of driving.
Someone recommended Julie Smith's book 'Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?' and it changed how I approached the situation.
See, avoiding something you're afraid of makes it worse. The more you avoid it, the more the fear grows and the more you put yourself in a box.
So I put the meds in my handbag.
I got in the car.
And I drove around the block.
The fear itself made me light-headed and shaky, but I told myself the full vertigo was over and I wouldn't pass out.
Then I drove a bit further on empty roads.
Light-headedness got a bit better.
When the drive was a far one, I asked friends to come with me so I knew I had back-up.
I refused to be on permanent medication for this and I refused to constantly be afraid, so I kept doing the thing I was afraid of until the fear wasn't paralysing anymore.
As the book explained, we create different neural pathways as we do something we fear over and over again. Our bodies and minds learn that the fear is imagined.
As I gained confidence again, the light-headedness went away completely.
It sucked and I hated being that afraid, but the alternative was worse.
What fear are you avoiding dealing with?
Is it making life just a tiny bit smaller?
