The Myth of Having It All: Why Balance Isn’t the Goal

For a long time, I thought “having it all” meant juggling all the pieces perfectly - career, social life, family, travel, relationships.

Balance, in my mind, was another KPI to hit.

In practice, it looked like this:

• Crazy hours during the week in Joburg.

• Thursday night socials with colleagues or friends.

• A Friday evening flight back to Cape Town, because that’s where “life” happened.

• Saturdays crammed with socialising.

• Sundays reserved for family.

• Then a late flight back to Joburg so I could start the cycle again.

It sounds like balance.

In reality, it was exhaustion.

I never felt rooted anywhere. I was constantly on a plane, always tired, always stretched. Even when I showed up for the people I loved, I wasn’t really present.

I was basically just running on fumes.

That’s when I realised my idea of balance was warped.

It wasn’t about doing everything. It was about protecting my energy.

So, I started making changes.

I didn’t need to fly every weekend.

I could give myself permission to stay in Joburg, to rest, to actually recover.

I didn’t need to show up everywhere to prove I cared.

I needed to start showing up for myself first.

Now, I don’t chase balance. I focus on alignment.

• If I’m energised by something, I follow it.

• If I’m drained by something, I look at how to shift it.

• If I’m tired, it’s a signal that something’s off.

I do weekly energy audits, asking what’s fuelling me and what’s draining me, and I actively adjust my time and focus.

I check in across the big areas of life (career, finances, health, relationships), not to measure myself against a perfect standard, but to feel into what’s needed next.

It’s simple, but it’s a game changer.

Alignment keeps me moving forward while staying true to my values and energy, instead of stretching myself thin trying to keep up appearances of “balance.”

Because here’s the truth:

Balance isn’t the goal. Being aligned to what fuels you is.